Facing The Crowd...

Few weeks back, while sorting old Reader’s Digests , I saw the 1997 edition with the main article titled ‘How to master the art of Public Speaking’. It transported me back to my school days and high school when even the thought of taking part in Elocution competition petrified me. I found novel ways to circumvent it by taking part in sports, art, spelling bee so that the focus shifts away from me participating in public speaking.

It’s only during my high school I realized that if I want to communicate my ideas coherently, hone my speaking skills as a requirement for my ambition, I need to overcome my fear of public speaking slowly and steadily. These are some hacks and successful trials that worked in my case I want to share:

1. Start with a group: In my high school there was a debate competition which comprised of 5 people and that was a comfortable scenario for me to begin with as I had to only put forth my ideas in front of a limited gathering. It was also a place to get honest feedback.

2. Have a friend/supportive colleague in the audience: In one of the presentations that I had to make as a discussant for a senior in the PhD program, I went in early only to realize there was no one from the junior year in the audience or as presenters. Thankfully, two of my friends anticipated this and attended the talk. I was so grateful for their moral support and also bringing some humor before the session began.

3. Fielding tough questions: One of the aspects that determine how smoothly one delivers the talk depends on how one responds to critical points raised. In one such discussions, three of my friends from class suggested we will ask you the toughest questions regarding the design and and results. They did ask the pertinent questions that actually helped me relieve the stress as well as up my confidence to take on criticism with equal confidence. Doing the same with respect to job market rehearsals for your friends, job interviews could do wonders:)

4. Getting creative: I decided to add artistic dimension so as to transform my own internal mindset from viewing this activity as a monster I am scared of, to considering it as my artist friend whom I love hanging out with. In one such experiment, I tried writing key words related to the topic and some fun unrelated words. Writing it out is one such mechanism I use it till date.

One such rambling….

5. Explore variants, combination: Instead of straight away diving into a long speech, dabbling with singing, acting in skit, taking part in exhibitions where one briefly explains their works helped in my case. Also, preparing for a talk can be a combination of notes, flashcards for self, writing down counterquestions, recording it to check for tone, speed.

6. Power to Discern and Patience: Every process is a learning curve and there are numerous instances it did not go well. At times fear took center stage, at times I forgot the argument. I did get disappointed in those moments but ensured I received feedback as well as reflected what went wrong whether it was lack of preparation, arguments based on a weak foundation, etc. In one of the classes I also learnt that sometimes that there would be some folks in the audience who could be absolutely rude and insulting to even their fellow Professors or other students during the presentation. We did have a discussion about it in the class wherein my professor mentioned the best strategy is ignoring such people and not let it deter you.

7. Not connecting your self-worth to it: Lastly, for me I realized that for longest time in my school days I drew a relation between how well spoken and confident I am to my self-worth. It is only when I stopped this did I start growing (leaving aside the self-destructive EGO also helped). On a lighter note, it also changed my facial expression from looking like a captive to a more relaxed individual😆.

   Actionable Steps :

   While every case and circumstance differs, I thought of some generic steps to tackle individual fears/insecurities:

   a. Start Small: Baby steps towards the goal.

   b. Community Support: Having a group of supportive people or people going through similar situations and figuring out the mechanism could be very helpful.

   c. Realistic Expectations: Pushing too hard backfires as it moves in the opposite direction of progress.

   d. Enjoying the learnings: Every failed instance is a prior to keep updating your database. Having an optimistic attitude even if things aren’t going very well keeps the momentum going.

   e. Waltzing with Tenacity : Sometimes we inflate the worst-case scenario and underestimate the best-case that could happen. Focusing on ensuring consistency helps to even out this tepid imbalance in the long run.

   We are all on a journey and individuals with imperfections:) Key is recognizing our gifts and working on those unpolished diamonds with a smile☺️.

   These are some learnings from my side. Would love to know your thoughts, your inputs, any fear you are working on to overcome or have achieved it.

   Here are my Sunday song recommendations:)

   1. Högt över havet - Arja Saijonmaa (Melodic and peppy Swedish track by the legendary singer Arja Saijonmaa)

b. Always With Me (Itsumo Nando Demo)- Spirited Away